*Mommy Update*

So this is whats going on with me. I went and saw an endocrinologist to try to get my thyroid under control. When I was in the hospital for my gall bladder surgery my mom had my thyroid panel ran ( just haven't been feeling good for a while) and they came back showing hyper thyroid. Now that we know what it is I probably have been having symptoms  that just got worse and worse since Payton was born. These symptoms are, anxiety (heart palpitations), hot flashes, dizziness, weight falling of, weakness, exhaustion, irritated, and most recently little black out spells. Now that sounds like tons of fun for my husband, right? : ) I can make excuses for all these symptoms especially because they started after I had my daughter, At first it was : I am anxious because I am a new mother, tired because I have a small child, hot flashes because my hormones are dropping in to place, dizziness because i might be anemic, irritated because I am once again a full time working new mother, and the list can go on and on. was I dealing with some weird post pardem or something? When I was carrying Payton around the house , felt dizzy, and had to drop to the ground as my vision went blurry is when I  got scared and decided it was time to go to the doc. We never made it because I was in the emergency room with gall bladder surgery, but at least we got the results on my thyroid. I was not able to get to the endocrinologist till about 2 weeks after my surgery. I sat in the doctors office as they went through all my symptoms and made me do small tests to see how bad they were. My resting heart rate in the office was pretty much off the charts and my shaking was insane. I guess I would have to say I learned to work through them. I know I know, next time I will get into the doctor sooner, lesson learned. As they checked me out they said  for sure they could feel my thyroid inflamed and that they felt something else. Blood tests, ultrasound, and nuclear scan was ordered up right away and they wanted me to get in as soon as i could. As well as medicine to slow my heart rate. The heart is a muscle ,remember, and with it beating like that it will loose elasticity and not work as well anymore. I sure was glad that all my symptoms were for something at hand and that i wasn't just going crazy but now I was definitely a little scared. then it was days of trying to get all the testes in as soon as possible, messing with my heart meds because I was still pumping between 100-130 and having irregulars, and calling the doctors office for results. Long story short and a lot of miscommunication later I have been diagnosed with hyperthyroid ( Grave's Disease) and have two decent sized tumors on my thyroid. One on each side. Because I have the nodules as well as Grave's doctor says it is a high perecntage it is cancer. I am suppose to be on meds a little longer to get the thyroid less inflamed and then they want surgery to remove my entire thyroid as soon as possible. When they remove the thyroid is when they will do the actual biopsy. I have my times of negativity and shutting down and I know it sounds cliche' but I look at my daughter and husband and my heart and body just booms with positivity and love. I like to say I have good days and bad moments. I think what hurt my heart most and what i still have trouble talking about without getting teary is when  the realization hit that this will be something Payton will have to watch out for.  A plus is that heart medicine is making me feel better ( still can't break a pulse of 90) but anything under 120's feels great when you have been feeling so bad. It's amazing what you will let yourself just get used to. Now it's once again the waiting game till my next blood test to see how inflamed my thyroid is still and then we will go from there. As they sat" Hurry up and wait!". I have faith in my father , my God, that whatever we are dealing with it is truly in his hands. He will take care of our family and my anxious heart!